Touchwood!! I was pestered by so many people(and bed bug..apparently Ive never seen them in bed) if someone called Govindsamy do really exist, and the answer is NO! My protagonists are not individuals rather they are portrayal of each one of you. After reading the last post if you had wanted to ask me if it was about you, then you are a ‘Govindsamy’. Apparently names of my protagonists are conclusive of what they really are. If you are still dumb ass not able to figure out what I am trying to tell, then think of Velayutham climax – “nanum unga ellar madhiriyum VELAYUDHAM yaro nu velila thedi thedi, kadaisiya velila thedra vishayam illa, unakulla irukra dhairiyam ku peru tahn da VELAYUDHAM nu therinjikittaen” . I am experimenting something of this sort .
This post is about the likes of Rahuls and Shreyas. They are the people who think they have the patent to the word ‘LOVE’. While reading this post if you could see your traits in Rahul/Shreya, be gallant enough to accept that this post is about you. If you feel I did not talk about you in this post as well as the last one, then wait for the next one.
First thing Rahul does after getting hooked up with Shreya is to change the relationship status in FaceBook. Thankfully FaceBook doesn’t give a prompt message saying “Sorry, you cannot be in a relationship with Shreya because she is already in a relationship with Ramesh”!! Yea, Shreya was comparatively late to change her relationship status but quick enough to fall in another relationship. Girls don’t give much importance to trivial things such as changing relationship status; all they are bothered about is how many likes they get to the display picture. He expects people to acquiesce this but he gets only 17 likes and 6 comments for the relationship status change.(PS: keep track of the trend in number of likes and comments). Yea only 17 likes, isn’t it obvious which guy would like his friend sleeping with a good looking girl. The people who liked are the ones who really don’t like Rahul but know what Shreya really is. They clicked on the ‘Like’ button thinking “Otha!! saavu da”.
One fine morning,Rahul puts up a status update “I Love You With All My Heart !! “.Dai.. Why don’t you love her with your BUTT?? It’s definitely bigger than your heart. People like Rahul exasperate me by equating heart to love. Have you seen a real heart?? It is deformed and disgusting unlike the one with an arrow in it. Rahul updated the Status with an incitement to show his pride and chivalry unlike Shreya who updated her status to irritate her ex. Only a woman can understand that pleasure in seeing a Man cry. (0 Likes 1 Comment and the comment was -“Machi unaku oru figure kidaikumbothu, enaku onnu kidaikatha enna??!??”)
Days pass by. Androgen(I think) in Rahul’s body reaches the threshold and does JalaBulaJanks.. He doesn’t know what to do. Eventually he ends up sharing the video “Nenjukul Peidhidum” from Varanam Ayiram with the title ‘Mudiyala!!!’ (2 likes and 0 comments – two people liked it because porn was blocked in their office) Mudiala na go to the loo da, why do you think God has given you hands?. People like Rahuls are so dense that they don’t know what to do when they are in love. Choosing your girlfriend’s name as the password. How often do you expect Shreya to change her password, she changes her boyfriend every month. Sending text messages to Music Channels – “ 143 Shreya” . Grow up Man, 143 was used when your father was in school.
Dai Rahul I have a doubt da. Why the fuck do you write something encrypted on Shreyas wall. If you want only her to understand it, why don’t you text her. You think you are DanBrown?? . I could decrypt it , all you used was Caesar’s Square, the elementary form of encryption. Manasula etho 128 bit encryption key use pannatha nenapu!! After decrypting I expected some Gilma stuff, paatha oru mairum ila, all you said to her was “Love you Honey, feel like kissing you”.
Most stupidest thing you both do on FaceBook is to make obvious that you both are in love. Liking all her Profile pictures, even the pic where she is brushing. Seriously,only a girl would upload a pic of herself brushing with foam all over her mouth. Eeeeeew looked like she was back from a BlowJob session. I understand da Rahul, if you don’t like her pics or status updates, she would call you and insist you to like them. Whereas if you ask her to like your pics, by default the reply would be “Poda!, enaku vera velai illaya??”. You upload a pic of you and your cousin preethi who is married, she calls you up and asks you to remove it, she justifies it by telling that she is possessive. Whereas she uploads a pic, in which she wears a spaghetti(astronomical amount of cleavage seen) and there are four or five guys with their hands around your girl (PS: all those guys wearing their jean way below their waist, each one of them wearing the same brand of underwear.) Still she calls you up and fights with you for not liking that pic.. Errrr.. Why this kolaveri di??!??
We could endure your behaviour till you both are in the same city. The moment either one of you leaves for a different city, Sethom Da!! This inane ‘Love’ makes you people a prolific poet. Don’t you people think of anything else other than impressing your girlfriend with stupid and irritating one liners such as “I will love you until Tom catches Jerry.” Otha if I catch you, setha da nee!! Rahul after going to new place turns out to be a surprise, all girls over there go ga-ga over him. Now its Rahul’s turn to irritate Shreya. He puts every pic possible to make her jealous. He forgets the day they both fell in love. Shreya had expected he would call her on that day. She creates a big fuss on FB by putting up a morose status. Obviously stolen from somewhere. Definitely there is a Ctrl +C and Ctrl +V behind a Girl’s status. (39 likes and 24 comments – 39 Romeos have already started hitting on Shreya. Think even I clicked on the ‘Like’ :D).
Rahul is extremely annoyed and changes his relationship status to ‘Its Complicated’ ( 95 likes 55 comments – Most of his friends are happy for the fact that he is not happy) Now for Fuck Sake will someone explain to me what is ‘its complicated’ – Rahul and Shreya are in love with each other, but Shreya and Rahul’s cousin Rohit had a casual fling, knowing this Rahul banged Rohit’s Girlfriend. But Rohit’s girlfriend turns out to be Shreya’s sister. Shreya wants to irritate Rahul , so she sleeps with Rahul’s brother – Huh! This complicated???
Things go haywire. Its time for Rahul to become a ‘SOUP BOY’. This may be hard times for Rahul and Shreya, but believe me it is agony for rest of us. The videos,pics and quotes they post, unbearable. You post some love failure song with the title ,’Whattey lyrics, So True, Love is Shit!!’ If it is shit why do you want to taste it again and again? Then you go to some one’s wall and comment on his posts –“Machi ponnungala nambatha da!!” Periar, thiruvaluvar,Kambar solliye kekatha naanga nee solli keka poroma?? On the other side, I like Shreya’s attitude, Super Cool. No beard, No saraku , No sad videos but focussed on one thing – Yaaru thalaila next molaga araikalam!! The interesting thing is how these people part ways. Rahul gets to know that he is no longer Shreya’s boyfriend one fine morning on FaceBook. Shreya’s status read – Irukuravuluku oru aalu, illathavaluku oooralam aalu!! Pha need guts to post such a status and definitely a stronger heart to read it.
Then comes the D day. Rahul changes his relationship status to ‘Single’ ( Othaaa!! 224 likes and 113 comments – Meaning 224 of his friends are still single and like their friend to be single too.) But as always thunbathilayum oru inbam irukum.Rahul was happy for one reason, he hasn’t got so many likes for any of his posts.
This post is about the likes of Rahuls and Shreyas. They are the people who think they have the patent to the word ‘LOVE’. While reading this post if you could see your traits in Rahul/Shreya, be gallant enough to accept that this post is about you. If you feel I did not talk about you in this post as well as the last one, then wait for the next one.
First thing Rahul does after getting hooked up with Shreya is to change the relationship status in FaceBook. Thankfully FaceBook doesn’t give a prompt message saying “Sorry, you cannot be in a relationship with Shreya because she is already in a relationship with Ramesh”!! Yea, Shreya was comparatively late to change her relationship status but quick enough to fall in another relationship. Girls don’t give much importance to trivial things such as changing relationship status; all they are bothered about is how many likes they get to the display picture. He expects people to acquiesce this but he gets only 17 likes and 6 comments for the relationship status change.(PS: keep track of the trend in number of likes and comments). Yea only 17 likes, isn’t it obvious which guy would like his friend sleeping with a good looking girl. The people who liked are the ones who really don’t like Rahul but know what Shreya really is. They clicked on the ‘Like’ button thinking “Otha!! saavu da”.
One fine morning,Rahul puts up a status update “I Love You With All My Heart !! “.Dai.. Why don’t you love her with your BUTT?? It’s definitely bigger than your heart. People like Rahul exasperate me by equating heart to love. Have you seen a real heart?? It is deformed and disgusting unlike the one with an arrow in it. Rahul updated the Status with an incitement to show his pride and chivalry unlike Shreya who updated her status to irritate her ex. Only a woman can understand that pleasure in seeing a Man cry. (0 Likes 1 Comment and the comment was -“Machi unaku oru figure kidaikumbothu, enaku onnu kidaikatha enna??!??”)
Days pass by. Androgen(I think) in Rahul’s body reaches the threshold and does JalaBulaJanks.. He doesn’t know what to do. Eventually he ends up sharing the video “Nenjukul Peidhidum” from Varanam Ayiram with the title ‘Mudiyala!!!’ (2 likes and 0 comments – two people liked it because porn was blocked in their office) Mudiala na go to the loo da, why do you think God has given you hands?. People like Rahuls are so dense that they don’t know what to do when they are in love. Choosing your girlfriend’s name as the password. How often do you expect Shreya to change her password, she changes her boyfriend every month. Sending text messages to Music Channels – “ 143 Shreya” . Grow up Man, 143 was used when your father was in school.
Dai Rahul I have a doubt da. Why the fuck do you write something encrypted on Shreyas wall. If you want only her to understand it, why don’t you text her. You think you are DanBrown?? . I could decrypt it , all you used was Caesar’s Square, the elementary form of encryption. Manasula etho 128 bit encryption key use pannatha nenapu!! After decrypting I expected some Gilma stuff, paatha oru mairum ila, all you said to her was “Love you Honey, feel like kissing you”.
Most stupidest thing you both do on FaceBook is to make obvious that you both are in love. Liking all her Profile pictures, even the pic where she is brushing. Seriously,only a girl would upload a pic of herself brushing with foam all over her mouth. Eeeeeew looked like she was back from a BlowJob session. I understand da Rahul, if you don’t like her pics or status updates, she would call you and insist you to like them. Whereas if you ask her to like your pics, by default the reply would be “Poda!, enaku vera velai illaya??”. You upload a pic of you and your cousin preethi who is married, she calls you up and asks you to remove it, she justifies it by telling that she is possessive. Whereas she uploads a pic, in which she wears a spaghetti(astronomical amount of cleavage seen) and there are four or five guys with their hands around your girl (PS: all those guys wearing their jean way below their waist, each one of them wearing the same brand of underwear.) Still she calls you up and fights with you for not liking that pic.. Errrr.. Why this kolaveri di??!??
We could endure your behaviour till you both are in the same city. The moment either one of you leaves for a different city, Sethom Da!! This inane ‘Love’ makes you people a prolific poet. Don’t you people think of anything else other than impressing your girlfriend with stupid and irritating one liners such as “I will love you until Tom catches Jerry.” Otha if I catch you, setha da nee!! Rahul after going to new place turns out to be a surprise, all girls over there go ga-ga over him. Now its Rahul’s turn to irritate Shreya. He puts every pic possible to make her jealous. He forgets the day they both fell in love. Shreya had expected he would call her on that day. She creates a big fuss on FB by putting up a morose status. Obviously stolen from somewhere. Definitely there is a Ctrl +C and Ctrl +V behind a Girl’s status. (39 likes and 24 comments – 39 Romeos have already started hitting on Shreya. Think even I clicked on the ‘Like’ :D).
Rahul is extremely annoyed and changes his relationship status to ‘Its Complicated’ ( 95 likes 55 comments – Most of his friends are happy for the fact that he is not happy) Now for Fuck Sake will someone explain to me what is ‘its complicated’ – Rahul and Shreya are in love with each other, but Shreya and Rahul’s cousin Rohit had a casual fling, knowing this Rahul banged Rohit’s Girlfriend. But Rohit’s girlfriend turns out to be Shreya’s sister. Shreya wants to irritate Rahul , so she sleeps with Rahul’s brother – Huh! This complicated???
Things go haywire. Its time for Rahul to become a ‘SOUP BOY’. This may be hard times for Rahul and Shreya, but believe me it is agony for rest of us. The videos,pics and quotes they post, unbearable. You post some love failure song with the title ,’Whattey lyrics, So True, Love is Shit!!’ If it is shit why do you want to taste it again and again? Then you go to some one’s wall and comment on his posts –“Machi ponnungala nambatha da!!” Periar, thiruvaluvar,Kambar solliye kekatha naanga nee solli keka poroma?? On the other side, I like Shreya’s attitude, Super Cool. No beard, No saraku , No sad videos but focussed on one thing – Yaaru thalaila next molaga araikalam!! The interesting thing is how these people part ways. Rahul gets to know that he is no longer Shreya’s boyfriend one fine morning on FaceBook. Shreya’s status read – Irukuravuluku oru aalu, illathavaluku oooralam aalu!! Pha need guts to post such a status and definitely a stronger heart to read it.
Then comes the D day. Rahul changes his relationship status to ‘Single’ ( Othaaa!! 224 likes and 113 comments – Meaning 224 of his friends are still single and like their friend to be single too.) But as always thunbathilayum oru inbam irukum.Rahul was happy for one reason, he hasn’t got so many likes for any of his posts.
